Hello mam. Can Sarah come out ‘n play?
B..b..but why, mam?
SHE’S UNDER ATTACK AND IS IN HIDING!
Did those meanies pick on her again? I promise to run them off!
NO! THE MEANIES ARE SETTING UP DEATH PANELS!
D…D…deth panels like the ones at the deth Metal concert?
NO! DEATH PANELS LIKE YOUR GRANDMA IS GOING TO BE EUTHANIZED AND SHIPPED OFF FOR LABOR OR SEX SLAVERY AND YOU WILL BE BRANDED WITH THE MARK OF THE BEAST! Acccck! Arrrrgh!!!
tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
Hello, mam. Did you tell my daughter that her gramma is going to be euthanized and shipped off for labor or sex slavery and that my little girl would be branded with the mark of the beast?
Where’s that Sarah? I’d figure her to be saying something like this to my little girl…
SHE’S IN HIDING FROM NEGROES AND MEXICANS AND LIBERALS. THEY WANT HER PURE, WHITE BLOOD ON THEIR FILTHY HANDS! YA SURELY KNOW!
Is she in trouble at school again? I heard that she showed up with her BB gun and shot a squirrel and two dogs…
Hello, mam. I’m with the press. Can I talk to Sarah?
NO! SHE IS NOT TALKING TO ANY LIBERAL COMMUNIST MUSLIM PRESS! NOT ON A BET…YA!
Well, she was not afraid to go all over town, talking to everyone for a dime per word and decorating her Facebook pages with gunsight symbols. We want to know why she is suddenly hiding out.
IT’S THAT SHAWN CHRISTY! HE’S AFTER HER!
You mean the 19 year old who has a restraining order and sent threatening e-mails? That hasn’t been in the news for a while. Why NOW?
IT’S THAT ARIZONA DEMOCRAT DRAMA QUEEN! SHE’S GETTING ALL OF THE ATTENTION!
You mean Rep Giffords?
Mam, she’s recovering from a gunshot to the head!
AND MY LITTLE GIRL JUST QUIT HER JOB AT HER REALITY SHOW! NO ONE CARES ABOUT HER PAIN! THEY’RE ALL PAYING ATTENTION TO GIFFORDS!
Mam, is Sarah at home?
I am the Angel of Death and I just want to leave this gift basket and thank you note….
Mam, I am-a from-a the Vatican-a. I am-a here-a to examine-a Sarah’s-a Stigmata-a!
SARAH DOESN’T HAVE STIGMATA! YA BETCHA!
But-a mam-a…there are-a reportos that-a Sarah has-a the bloods all-a over her han-as!