This is my intellectual, adult content, and poignant sermon on the power of our votes!
Let me preach in this tiny church to the tiny choir:
We are surrounded by heathens who are either the most evilmalignentviolent or just silly train wrecks ever to barge over the polluted and stinky horizon of our national demise.
They barrel down upon us, snorting and gloating like the very same tens of thousands of horny and rampant horses that are symbolic representations of their growing erection of power!
They are just like an analogically correct “Angry Birds” game for Android, which is only giving us useless little finches, not those big, fat bomb birds that we need to crush the snorting, laughing pigs who stole and poached the eggs from our very own nests!
We are the last bastion of our national pedigree. We are the imperious and bulging nation for the good of the world.
Our votes are the very water from which the flora and fauna drink to sustain their floriyy and fauny little lives.
We may still dine with sufficency until we are saroncified, but soon, we may be driven (or have to ride public transit) into the penury of denial and the flatulence that can only come from a diet of strictly beans and corn!
Will Sarah Palin or Carl Rove dish out our beans and corn? Hell no! Hell no, I tell you!!!
Let no more of those social gremines leak into our ruling orders!
Stand up, stretch, yawn, scratch your butt or your itchy genitals.
Then let Washingtonia know that the pubic hair is in the coke!
Let the wannabe bitch goddess camp followers of the Washingtonia judicial elite giggle, abuse and bully all they want in pursuit of insult and apology, but let them also feast on their own rampant and deciduous humiliatiory excess.
For these are the increments of time that will redact our sacrifice and eliminate even the conjugal benefits of our humble frugality, leading us into fuckmires of debauchery, led by numb skulls who are like the fast moving schools of greedy fish that suck up the algae of life!
…be the squid! Use your powerful and multiple tentacles that can reach into the nooks and cranberries of society. Use them to rap up your prey and crush them into mulch, ready to be sucked into your glorious maw of liberation from totalitarian and corporate rule! (Unless you have a job offer pending.)
Be the bigger squid and vote!
Better yet, become the Chupacabra of voters and gnash your political teeth at those who would ruin our cushy world.
Let not the pilgrims of prude rule our lives with their wretched constructs of human existence and sexuality.
Let not the bigots snort and crow with glee that they will be the only denizens who are allowed to lurk in the elegant townhouses and marbly corridors of power.
Let them not stink up the Senatorious gym and sauna and neither let them blat and bleep their way through the luxurious repasts presented to them on goldy gold plates by the suppurating lobbyists.
Rise now! Send a figurative and literal message to the political Paris Hiltons, bounty hunters and societal reality show octo-politician nonsense mongers!
Let them know that they will not throw asunder that which was fucked up from the beginning by the founding crooks, liars, slave owners, abusive husbands, adulterers and child rapists.
For these are the derivatives of the times and the bills are due. Gird your loins. Rub them with rosemary and olive oil.
When you are through, clean up and rap your cloaks around you, then make your grand processional to the polls.
And vote for the good of the people, the world, and the aliens among us!
Vote not for yourself or for your specialious interests. Vote for the public trust and fill the air with the a capella voice of the peoples!
And now, let’s pass the collection plate…