As promised, this is a treatise on the origins and background of Cougarism, a condition where older women find that younger men are more their style and type of mate. Throughout history, such relationships were not only more common than we think, they were actually encouraged!
Listen to that old Benjamin Franklin talking about the dog in him:
“But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons.” 1
Well bow wow wow yippie yaye yippe yay to you too, Ben.
It is no wonder that women are making less traditional choices in a mate. Ponder the increasing independence of Western women with their new found freedom to work outside of the home while the men folk were off to WWII. Suddenly, gals found out that they could roll out from under the postman, get out of the steamy, hot kitchen and head off to work to make their own income.
This freedom allowed the access to higher education, birth control, the right to vote and the ability to pay for hoisted puppies, serving to transform women of certain ages from tired harridans into lean, mean, sexy success machines.
In the early stages, women were portrayed as vicuna like slinkers who preyed upon the innocent and niaive, as Mrs Robinson did when she bumped uglies with Dustin Hoffman. After that, cougar relationships boomed, and were an average of 5 to 10 years in age difference. In 2003, differences of as much as 15 or 20 years became more common.
Perhaps it was the bleating and repetitive media attention to “statistics” which led the public to believe that women over 40 had about as much chance of getting a man as Sarah Palin has of growing a character and a brain.
Well, who showed whom?
And what says “In your face, you media whores!” more than a younger, leaner and more malleable cut of meat? Who wants Carrie Prejean sex when they can have lean certified Angus sirloin, right on the well formed and bunion free hoof?
After all, for generations, women have been reading beach potboilers about the exploits of always late 40s males who fall for 30 something ga ga queens with high, perky breastesses, firm buttocks, and good childbearing hips.
Well, why not strike up a lasting relationship with a firm, well muscled hunky boy with a full tonsure and the sexual proclivities of a young monkey?
It has been said again and again that men “Want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad”! Well, now it is not a case of only the woman getting hers; the younger men are getting what they really want, too.
And what the younger man gets is the gracefully aged beauty, maturity, sophistication and problem solving skills of Mom, with the sexual freedom, knowledge and skills of Mom’s hot friend. In fact, they probably end up with Mom’s hot friend.
Alfred Kinsey knew that women reach the peak of their sexuality later in life than men. Alfred Kinsey probably snuck into his father’s library and read Benjamin Franklin’s letters. Dirty boy.
And women understand the concept of “use it or lose it”, which refers to the atrophy of unused goodies from lack of action. This leads to internal damage that cannot be easily repaired. Keeping the cougar noogies in working condition often requires involvement with the fresh, young thing who can keep up the activity like “on demand” television programming.
But, in most cases, the cougar relationship (or May-December relationship) is surprisingly based on mutual physical and other natural attractions rather than on the ideas that are buried in our social norms and values. Such negative social mores and ideas are merely attempts to discourage cougar relationships by branding cougars as predatory, aging women who use their maturity and personnel management skills (or their money) to reel in innocent and trusting young ‘uns.
The idea that only celebrity cougars can afford the expensive workouts, cosmetic surgery and other perks that come with the money required to attract a younger man. This is still another attempt to shame and to social engineer women of a certain age back into lives of sexual penury, battery operated love, or housebound oppression.
Ha! No more. Normal women who have lived normal lives have always had cougar relationships with younger men.
As a result, it is no longer a source of shame and scandal to pick up a boy toy and cougar on. But are these truly healthy relationships, where the young man can stand on his own and not be controlled or influenced by a more savvy, older woman who knows how to get what she wants?
Well, who cares? This has been going on with older men and younger women since the beginning of human time, and the results are just as variable, depending on the moral behavior and emotional health of the individuals, and their ability to maintain a positive and healthy relationship.
So, as a result the biological clock goes “tick tock”, but who cares? Cougars coog because they are savvy, independent and know what they want, and they will continue to get some of the freshest and sproingiest fruit, if they can.
After all, Ben Franklin’s mistress probably wrote her own letters where she must have written about the the “Doinnggg! Wank danka dank dank wanka dank dank!” of youth, since Viagra hadn’t yet been invented.
The men of a certain age? Well, they have Viagra and will continue to go for whatever it is that they want. They will be fine!