Ok, Xenonlit has been absent lately, so much must be done! It is time for spooky Ooky Foodie Tuesday, and perhaps my hideous offering will scare some love outta you!
Today’s recipe is based on the following tale of scary woe:
I was wandering through an old Castle in Germany. The true meaning of “Gothic” was seeping from every post and stone and beam in that place. As I wandered, in my own world of culture shock, I was separated from my tour group.
The castle was amazing, with staircases and nooks that went on forever, each new chamber offering a different view of the world from small, but beautifully encased windows. One set of chambers beckoned with more appeal than the others. These must have been the rooms of one of the more prominent residents.
To my surprise, a bounteous feast was laid out. The smells of the richly detailed food drew me in like a hooker to a dentist’s convention. One dish caught my eye:
Count Versenschaffer’s Stew
Two Yams, chopped and mangled
1 Yellow Pepper, diced and stabbed
1 Red Pepper, diced and maimed
1 Onion, diced and hung on the rack
2 carrots, sliced and screaming
2 stalked celery, captured and sliced on the diagonal
2 cloves garlic, smashed and chopped fine
4 large tomatoes, cut up, drained of their blood, and dead
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, chopped into cubes, seasoned with salt and pepper, and seared mercilessly.
1 pound pork sirloin, seasoned with salt and pepper, cubed and interrogated by hot frying pan until seared into agony.
1-2 cups full bodied, slightly sweet white whine.
3 cups chicken stock that has been hung in the stocks
2 tblsp butter, mashed together with 2 tblsp flour.
A bouquet of herbs in cheesecloth: english parsley, thyme, rosemary, and green, red and white peppercorns.
Get the crock pot out. These victims will suffer for hours!
Gather all of the tortured vegetables, except the tomatoes, and roast them lightly in the oven, or carmelize on the stove top. Oh yes, they will give up all of their secrets…
Add the garlic and onion to the vegetables, and let them soften and sweat as they scream their way into foodie greatness!
Put all ingredients into the crock pot and laugh like a maniac for a couple of hours, or until the meat is as tender as you like!
At the very end, stir in the butter and flour mix to thicken the sauce and simmer for 10 more minutes.
Serve with mashed potatoes, rice or Panera Bread Sesame Semolina bread, and a chopped salad.
Oh, what happened at the castle?
Well, a tour guide showed up out of nowhere and said “Sit, my liebchen, and enjoy this bounteous repast with me! We will talk of music and culture while I gaze upon you.”
He was dressed in period clothes, but they looked brand new, so he must have been one of the staff! What a lovely surprise, to serve us a beautiful luncheon during our tour!
We ate, this beautiful man and I, and chatted with gusto. After we had eaten with good appetite, I noticed that two hours had passed! I made my apologies and fled from the chamber to meet up with my group.. in the very next room!
I asked them if they had eaten, babbling along about the wonderful luncheon that was hosted by one of the castle staff.
Everyone was staring at me as if they had seen a ghost.
The pale, shaking tour guide said “There are no staff in period costume here, and we are going to lunch at the Gasthaus now! You have seen Count Versenschaffer! It is said that he roams this place, but only a few have dined with him!”
Damn. Even the food was a ghost.
I yelled, “Oh, let’s get out of here, then!”
I was starving.