Richsomnia attacked last night at 2:30 am. All of the fluffy, squeezable men were asleep, so I started looking around the web for the insanely posh, richy rich stuff that makes life oh so easy to love on a shallow, materialistic level.
Oh, come on. There is a bit of the shallow materialist in each of us. I’m broke, so I call my shallow materialism “enjoying the simple things in life”! Otherwise, if I were better off, I would be calling my incremental upgrades “neccessities”!
But this time, I dove deep into the world of people who have so much money that money has no meaning to them anymore. A day’s shopping can run up a tab that approaches Arnold’s budget cuts to social welfare programs. (But it would take a few months to spend as much as Arnold is handing over to the fat cats and developers!)
So, I google and I find that Mark Buehrle of the Chicago White Sox did something basebally and historical, so he treated his teammates to special bottles of Crown Royal that ring up at 180 bucks per pop. Each bottle comes in a bag that is embroidered with a special “thank you” message from Mark. Yeah, fine. Not bad. How many teammates recieved these special, undrinkable and historical bottles, though?
This will do: Veuve Cliquot. The Grande Dame Rose can tap the budget for up to $800.
I hear that the sellers of $3,ooo cell phones are having hard times, and are unloading some of them for $1,000. LG had a Prada inspired phone for richy riches in Europe and Asia. Samsung came out with an Emporio Armani M75500 Night Effect phone. Motorola had a little number with a 62 carat sapphire crystal lens called the “Aura”, for $2,000. I’d hate to see one of those suckers go all obsolete on me.
A Sherriff in Raleigh, NC scored a drug dealer’s Corvette ZO6 that retails for about 57,000 bucks. The Sherriff says that it’s a very good tool for nabbing sneaky speedsters, since not many delinquent vehicles can outrun that car. Just getting new tires for the car will run about $1,500 for the set. The local school district is not happy, having preferred that the car be sold and the money forwarded to such wasteful crap as teachers salaries.
How about a plush laptop? The Tulip E-Go PC costs $355,000. “…inlaid with solid palladium white gold plates in which thousands (80 carats) of top-quality, brilliant cut diamonds have been set with accuracy. The brilliant outcome also incorporates a unique square cut ruby set in both Tulip logos.”
Yeah, yeah, crust anything with diamonds and rubies and you’ve gotten past me? Ha! Never. This little beauty of a laptop was designed from a “woman’s perspective”, so it’s round! Remember Ru Paul? It looks like the size of compact that she needs to hold her makeup!
Then there are the 10 most expensive houses in the world. At number one is Antilla , soon to be occupied by Indian trillionaire Mukesh Ambani and his family (we got trillionaires already? Dang!). Antilla will be 27 stories tall, mostly of glass. Wwith gardens at each level, a helipad on top, a garage that holds 180 cars, a staff of 600, and more floor space than Versailles, this is insanely posh.
I’m hungry, now that I’ve seen the most expensive hamburger in the world, featuring “beef hacked off the side of a holy Japanese cow…” and sold at the Boca Raton Old Homestead Steakhouse. These puppies retail for about $124 bucks, $10 bucks of which goes to the “Make A Wish Foundation”. The burger looks a mess, really, and since no scantily clad burger boy feeds it to me, I’d rather have a six dollar burger.
To wash down that burger, let’s have a cup of Kipi Luwak, the most expensive coffee in the world. At 100 to 600 dollars a pound, it rules. One caveat, however: Kopi Luwak is eaten by Civet Cats. The beans are then collected, whole and undigested, from the Civet Cat poop.
Now that’s just nasty.
Now for dessert. One of the most expensive cakes in the world is yours, if you go to the Ciragan Palace in Istanbul and order the Sultan’s Golden Cake . This dessert takes 72 hours to make contains figs, quince, apricot and pears. It’s soaked in Jamaican Rum for 2 years. The topping has black truffles and a gold leaf. And it costs $1,000!